


Like a moth to flame

by Khoshekh42



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khoshekh42/pseuds/Khoshekh42
Summary: Todd finds out Dirk has never experienced a Halloween before, so he decides to take him Trick-or-Treating.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37
Collections: DGHDA Halloween Mini Bang 2020





	Like a moth to flame

“Wait. You mean to say that  _ you _ , the most excitable man, with the biggest sweet-tooth, has never been trick-or-treating before?” Todd had been preparing his morning coffee, when Dirk had—completely out of the blue, as he was wont to do—asked what the point of trick-or-treating was.

“Well, I did grow up in a super-secret CIA facility Todd, they didn’t really let us out do normal childhood things.”

Todd felt a twinge of guilt at Dirk’s words, but Dirk seemed unphased.

“So no, I’ve never been trick-or-treating. What even is it, really?”

“Kids go around, dressed up in costumes, and they knock on people’s doors asking for candy, and the people just give it to them.” Todd was totally floored that Dirk barely even knew what trick-or-treating was.

Dirk was just so… Dirk. Surely  _ this  _ man, of anyone, would be the number one Halloween fan. Todd just knew that, given the opportunity, Dirk would be a bigger fan of Halloween than Tumblr as a collective was.

Todd could see the intrigue growing on Dirk’s face. Some of Dirk’s favorite activities rolled into one holiday—people watching, dressing up in weird outfits, and getting candy.

“You know what,” Todd said, before he could convince himself to not say it, “We can go trick-or-treating this year. We’ll find costumes, even though Halloween is a week away, I’m sure we can find decent costumes by then.”

Dirk’s eyes widened and he looked so hopeful, until he deflated, and looked totally crestfallen. “But you said that it was for kids. No one will mistake us for children, Todd, I’m too tall, and you have… scruff.”

Todd’s hand flew instinctively to his chin, and he felt as if he should be offended, but he couldn’t help to kind of agree with Dirk. He was kind of scruffy.

“Not that scruff is bad!” Dirk tried to backtrack, “It looks good on you!”

Todd’s face heated a little, before he shook his head, trying to remember what Dirk had been saying before complimenting him.

“Well, yeah, it’s generally kids that go out trick-or-treating, but if we dress up no one should care. Besides,” Todd said, grinning, “If you cared about what people thought about you, you wouldn’t wear a jacket that radiates the same energy as a child’s drawing of a sun.”

Dirk gasped, “You  _ like _ my jackets, I  _ know  _ you do. Don’t even  _ try _ , Todd.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Todd said, smiling fondly. “In any case. We’re going trick-or-treating, you’re going to love it.”

Dirk did seem to be warming up to the idea. His face was doing that scrunched-up trying-not-to-smile thing that he did more often than he would probably like to admit. He was starting to fidget in his seat, as if he were itching to go do something about it right now.

Todd laughed, “Do you want to go look for costumes right now?”

Dirk jumped up immediately—he’d clearly been hoping Todd would suggest that.

* * *

Ten minutes later found them both browsing a nearby costume shop. Todd grabbed a pair of oversized sunglasses and grinned. He put them on Dirk’s face and declared:

“There. Now you’ve  _ really  _ got sun-in-a-child’s-drawing energy.” 

Dirk made a face that was mostly obscured by the sunglasses.

“Well. If  _ that’s  _ how you’re going to be,” Dirk said, mock offended. “Then perhaps I’ll just go trick-or-treating without you.”

He took the sunglasses off, dutifully putting them back where Todd had found them.

As they continued perusing the costume shop, Todd found Dirk glancing towards the section labeled ‘Couples Costumes’. So as Dirk examined a Thor costume, critiquing bits of it, Todd slipped over to the ‘Couples Costumes’ area. There were the typical Batman and Robin, astronaut and alien, plug and socket, but there were a couple that Todd hadn’t seen before, like the updated version of plug and socket—USB and USB port, and… Todd’s entire face lit up.

“Dirk!” He called, “Dirk, come over here, I found something!”

Dirk was at his side in a second.

“Yes, Todd?”

Todd pointed towards a set of costumes, a moth and a lightbulb.

Dirk grinned. “I assume you would be the moth because you’re small and fuzzy?”

“And you’d be the light because you’re a literal ray of sunshine.”

Dirk’s grin grew sweeter, and he reached up to grab the costume set from its place on the wall.

“It’s perfect, Todd, excellent detective-ing.”

“Detecting?”

“Hush, you’ll ruin the moment.” Dirk waved him off.

Todd smiled fondly, and followed Dirk to the checkout counter, allowing Dirk to pay with only mild complaining.

* * *

Halloween came quickly, though Dirk seemed to be crossing dates off of the metaphorical calendar the entire time. Todd wasn't that into Halloween personally, he hadn't been since he was a little kid, but seeing Dirk so excited was a surefire way to get him just as excited. 

Dirk had that effect on him, Todd was just inherently interested in whatever Dirk had to say, no matter how strange, how confusing. Whether about a previous case (which was always especially interesting because it gave Todd a nice insight into Dirk's life between Blackwing and the case that they'd met on), or about some thing he'd come across that day that he'd found interesting (usually a strange bug that Dirk thought was vital to their current case, or some funny Vine or TikTok or whatever the fuck was going around these days).

But it was only six o' clock on the thirty-first and Dirk was beginning to vibrate. His leg was doing that bouncing thing that only happened when Dirk was especially excited or bored (which, granted, was most of the time. Dirk only felt emotions in extremes). 

"We can't go out yet, Dirk. Only the really little kids are going out yet, it's too light out. You won't get the real Halloween experience." Todd had, at Dirk's insistence, pulled out the costumes and laid them on the couch so they were ready to go when the clock hit nine or so. 

Dirk groaned. "This is all your fault, Todd. If you hadn't been mean and told me about how fun Halloween was, I would be perfectly content sitting here quietly."

"You're never content to just sit quietly." Todd scoffed, "You're always running around doing weird shit, even if there isn't a case."

"Everything I do has a purpose, Todd." Dirk said, faux-haughtily.

"That time you woke me up at three in the morning because, and I quote, 'the gumdrop found the penny', and then fell asleep?"

Dirk paused momentarily before shrugging, "Just because it's a purpose that we mortals can't understand doesn't mean that there isn't a purpose. I'm sure that knowing that that gumdrop found the penny will come to be completely invaluable knowledge later."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dirk." Todd said.

"What time is it?"

"It's six fourteen. Three minutes after you asked the last time," Todd said, "Wear a watch."

"But I have a smartphone." Dirk pointed out.

"One that you could use, instead of using me as a glorified clock."

"It's in the  _ bedroom _ , Todd." Dirk complained, as if this were the highest of offences, telling him to walk all the way to the bedroom.

"Of our tiny ass apartment, you really don't have my sympathy with that issue." Todd continued stirring the cheese dust into his macaroni.

"Why are you eating, anyway?" Dirk asked curiously, the matter of time momentarily forgotten.

Todd scrunched his eyebrows, confused. "Because... I'm hungry?"

"But Todd, I've been doing research. The internet says that you should just eat candy for dinner on Halloween. It's  _ Halloween  _ Todd!"

"I will forever rue the day that I told you about what fun Halloween would be for you." Todd said, as sarcastically as he could.

He wasn't actually regretting telling Dirk about trick-or-treating, but it was hard to be truly excited himself since the last time he'd gone trick-or-treating was when he'd taken Amanda when she was only about eight years old. After that, he'd gotten to be a much shittier person, and before long, Amanda was an adult and had Pararibulitis, so going trick-or-treating with her was completely out of the question. 

He could make the argument that he himself shouldn't even be going out because of his own Pararibulitis, but it was for Dirk. He'd always just thrown caution to the wind when it came to Dirk, even just days after they'd met.

And now that they'd really gotten to know each other... it was hard to say no to Dirk. Especially since they'd gotten together.

"What time is it?" Dirk asked again.

Todd sighed. "Six eighteen. It's been four minutes."

"But it feels like it's been an hour." Dirk complained.

"It's been four minutes." Todd repeated.

"Yes, but it feels like,"

"In any case, why don't you find something to entertain yourself with?" Todd asked, knowing there were a finite number of times Dirk could ask him for the time before he snapped.

"But I can't focus on anything!" Dirk said, as if it would be obvious, which, in hindsight, it probably was.

"Watch your Great British People Cooking Shit," Todd purposefully butchered the title, knowing he'd get a rise out of Dirk.

Dirk gasped, horrified, just as Todd had expected. "How dare you not say the title properly! That is a national British treasure and you dare  _ desecrate  _ it!"

"I don't think that it's that big-"

"You don't think it's that big a deal." Dirk said mockingly, "Well maybe I should just say..." He trailed off, obviously thinking hard.

"If you're trying to think of something that every American agrees is good, you can just give up now, it's not going to work. We’re divided on fucking  _ everything _ ." Todd half-joked.

"Maybe I should just say...  _ Boprah _ !"

Todd laughed, choking slightly on his mac and cheese, "Yeah Oprah is basically nationally loved, I'll give you that one."

"Thank you." Dirk said, before shaking his head, "No, wait! You're not in the right here, It's still sacrilege to- to mutilate something like Bake Off. It's  _ Bake Off _ , Todd, you  _ have  _ to like it!" 

"It's not bad." Todd said, shrugging. 

"Now you're just pulling my leg! I know you like it, I know you watch without me, Todd. You know that Netflix keeps track of where you are in a show and I know I'm not on episode four yet!" Dirk crowed.

"Alright, fine. You win, I like Bake Off." Todd conceded, raising his hands in surrender.

Dirk smirked triumphantly, before asking:

"What time is it?"

Todd let his head hit the counter in front of him, and groaned. "Dirk, if you want me to go out trick-or-treating with you, please stop asking me for the time? Otherwise you'll look like a grown man going trick-or-treating, alone, dressed as a light bulb of all things."

Dirk seemed to consider this, "Yes I see what you mean. I promise this is the last time I'll ask!"

"Okay, if you promise. It's six twenty-five. Eleven minutes. You've hit a personal record." Todd deadpanned.

"Should I get a medal?" Dirk asked, just as seriously, but with a glint in his eyes that told Todd that he knew that they were just joking.

"Yeah sure, I'll grab my old participation trophy that I got from my swim team when I was nine next time I go by my parents' place."

"Thank you for recognizing what a great feat this is, by promising you'll bestow such an honor upon me." Dirk's mouth slipped into a crooked smile.

“Of course.” Todd returned his grin.

There was a blissful forty minutes where Dirk sat reading a book that he’d found on the coffee table (while, of course, fidgeting restlessly in his chair), instead of bugging Todd relentlessly for the time. 

“Todd…” Dirk said cautiously, “Do you actually…  _ understand  _ this book?

He held it up for Todd to see the title.

Todd’s face lit up, “The Silmarillion! Yeah, I’ve only gotten halfway through that since it’s pretty dense. I’ve been wanting to read it since high school, I just never got around to it. In any case, you need to read the Lord of the Rings first.”

“Ah. Yes, I thought I might be missing something.”

“Wait, Dirk.  _ Dirk _ . Next Halloween we need to go as Frodo and Sam. _ We need to go as Frodo and Sam. _ ”

“Oh…?” Dirk asked, completely lost.

“Frodo Baggins is the Hobbit that—well, Hobbits are these sort of short stout creatures that have furry feet and eat six meals a day—anyway Frodo is the Hobbit that takes the One Ring—well, the One Ring is a ring that Sauron—Sauron is the Dark Lord of Mordor—anyway the One Ring is this whole “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them, In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.” evil thing. Anyway, Frodo takes the One Ring to Mount Doom to destroy it—cause it was created in the fires of Mount Doom. What was the—oh yeah, Sam! Samwise Gamgee is another Hobbit, and he helps Frodo take the One Ring to Mount Doom, and the whole vibe between them is very tender and very gay. It’s fantastic, and—” Todd stopped rambling, feeling his face flush a little bit, “And you probably don’t care. Sorry.” He apologized sheepishly.

“So you like this whole Lord of the Rings thing, huh?” Dirk said, laughing lightly, but not cruelly.

“Just a bit.” Todd said.

“‘Just a bit.’” Dirk repeated, “Uh huh. A bit.”

“Hey it’s good!” Todd started getting a little defensive, before Dirk cut him off.

“Oh I’m sure it is! There are movies, I’m sure? We could have a movie night! We could have Farah and Amanda over to watch them!” Dirk seemed genuinely excited at the prospect of a movie night.

Todd felt himself flush, sometimes he forgot that Dirk seemed to be just as enamored with him as he was with Dirk—or rather, he sometimes convinced himself that Dirk wasn’t that into him.

“Yeah,” Todd said softly, “That’d be nice.” Putting aside the fact that Amanda would tease him for months about how nerdy he was going to be at this movie night, he would put up with it for Dirk.

Their conversation lulled into comfortable silence, where Dirk finally went into the bedroom to get his phone, and Todd picked the Silmarillion up to continue it himself. 

Sometime in the middle of chapter 23, Dirk’s phone started chirping out a tune, and Dirk gasped. 

“Todd! It’s seven forty-five! We have to get  _ dressed _ .

Todd let himself smile at Dirk, who had begun to scramble around the apartment as he donned the lightbulb hat and his yellow jacket, before Todd himself got the moth costume thrown at his face, and he just shook his head with a grin, and went to the bathroom to put it on.

Ten minutes passed where Todd was struggling to figure out whether he’d put it on backwards, and Dirk was shouting at Todd to hurry up, before he just opened the door with a “Why are you taking so long?” and a “Oh for heaven’s sake,  _ Todd _ , you don’t need to scream, I’ve seen you naked before.”

“Yeah, but you don’t need to break down the bathroom door and make a man shit himself to do it.” Todd grumbled, “Is this on backwards?” He spread his arms to open the wings.

“No, see, the front of the wing looks like the front of the wing on the packaging. Now come  _ on _ , Todd.” Dirk complained.

“Hold on, come here.” Todd grabbed Dirk’s arm, and pulled him next to him, and pulled out his phone to take a picture.

He hadn’t told Amanda they were going trick-or-treating yet, but he still wanted to send her a picture of the two of them all dressed up.

“Wait!” Dirk shouted. He grabbed the antennae from the counter, and carefully put them on Todd’s head. “Now we’re ready!”

Todd snapped the picture, and sent it to Amanda, before dropping his phone in his pillowcase, seeing as the moth costume had no pockets.

They set out, just as some of the youngest kids were heading back inside. 

Almost immediately they were approached by a group of costumeless teenage boys.

“Aren’t you a little old to be trick-or-treating?”

“Aren’t you a little young to be out this late?” Todd put on his most concerned voice, “Are your parents around here somewhere?”

One of the boys scoffed, “Whatever, dude.” 

“Are you lost?” Todd shouted after them as they left to go TP some poor person’s house. “Assholes.” He grumbled.

“Come on, Todd.” Dirk said, grinning brightly, “Let’s get some candy.”

The first house they visited, the woman passing out candy surreptitiously looked around for a young child behind them, but greeted them happily, and gave them candy nonetheless.

“This… this is trick-or-treating?” Dirk sounded like he was awestruck. “They really just… give you candy?”

“What, did you think I was lying?” Todd laughed.

“No! I just… it just seemed too good to be true.” Dirk grinned and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Thank you Todd.”

“Anything for you,” Todd replied, and he meant it.

Another house featured a man dressed as Thor who laughed raucously at their ‘moth and lightbulb’ costumes, and gave them extra candy, all while Dirk exclaimed that he looked  _ exactly  _ like Thor.

Later in the night there was a house that they encountered that had a short pathway up to the door, that had been filled with spiderwebs and fake spiders. The man who answered the door shut it as soon as he saw that it was two grown men, and Dirk stole a smaller spider from the hedge as they left.

* * *

They arrived back at their apartment late, with sore feet, but pillowcases that were heavy with candy.

Todd motioned for Dirk to sit on the floor, and followed suit before dumping his pillowcase onto the ground in front of him.

“Now for another Halloween tradition—trading candy.”

Dirk’s eyes widened, “So, all this shit that I don’t like—like the Milk Duds and the Airheads—I can just  _ trade _ with you for candy I  _ do  _ like?” He looked like he was in heaven.

Todd didn’t particularly like Milk Duds or Airheads either, but for Dirk he’d give up his full size Twix bar (which that he’d gotten from the badass grandma dressed in what Todd could only assume was a real vintage flapper dress and cloche hat) for fucking Necco wafers if he asked. (If Dirk did ask, Todd would say it was a one time thing, only because it was Dirk’s first Halloween, but Todd knew he would find some other excuse next year if needed).

They sat on the floor in their living room, still in their costumes, giggling happily as they sifted through their candy.

Todd wouldn’t have traded any of it, not for anything in the world.


End file.
